This is a complicated concept that can pose several problems. What do we regret? Why do we regret it? What if we can go back and change what we regret? Is this a good idea? What if what we regret brought us in line with where we needed to be right now? Going through bad can bring us to good. Yes? No? Maybe?
I can say I regret many things, as I am sure anyone can. My biggest regret was wasting my twenties on a relationship that I allowed to go on longer than I should have. That was due to fear which is a whole other word prompt exercise! Don’t worry we’ll get to it!
One of the things I am working on in therapy is taking negative and looking for the positive so here it goes! Instead of thinking about how I wish I hadn’t gone to hell and back over and over again; I should think about what did that relationship bring me? What good can I pull from it? Would I be where I am today? Would I be writing to you?
So here is a short list of positive things
- My history BA and MA degrees. He was vocal in our returning to school.
- My job at the library. This is where I discovered that I wanted to be a librarian. The history department secretary at the time never had my email correct so I didn’t get the notice that the library was looking for graduate students for a few job openings. He did.
- My close knit group of friends that no matter what I was going through were always there when I needed them. They tried to help but at the time I wasn’t ready to help myself. They have been very supportive as I go through my healing.
- My ability to recognize the signs of an unhealthy relationship as soon as it starts to turn. My 2nd relationship only lasted 4 months before I had to end it. This even involved a trip to court for a protection order. Something that I would have never done before (but ironically “regret” not doing at the time!).
- The knowledge of knowing what I do not have to put up with. That I am worthy of love and respect. Despite everything I held on tight to the idea that not all men are the same and I have been fortunate enough to have met the greatest guy I could have ever asked for.
Knowing where I am now how can I regret the past? If I could change my past it would have changed my present and my present is full of love and happiness. Instead of regretting the past I need to learn more about letting it go which is significantly harder to do.