Yesterday was a great day. Spent time with my love. I hung out with some great friends. Saw a movie. Had dinner. Never been happier in my life.
Yet sadly I can go from fine to crying in less than a second. I’ve been going to therapy since last December to work out some of my past experiences. Yet even though you feel fine sometimes you’re not.
Last night, around 2:30 in the morning, I had one such moment. I was lying in bed between the states of awake and sleeping when I heard a loud bang. My boyfriend had dropped the remote on the floor by accident. The noise startled me awake and for a split second I didn’t know where I was. I began to cry uncontrollably for a moment.
I was remembering all the times my ex would chuck the remote. Remembering how I’d have to crawl on the floor looking for all the pieces so I can put it back together. Praying it would work when I did. Apologizing for making him throw it. Walking on eggshells hoping it doesn’t happen again.
All those memories flooded back in that split second. My boyfriend immediately wrapped me in his arms. Rubbed my arms. Telling me everything is okay. Didn’t even ask questions. He was just there for me.
I’m a lucky girl.