You bled me

Today’s daily word prompt was Envy. This brought me back to a time when I was envious of skinny women. My ex desperately wanted me to look and fit into that paradigm but it never came to fruition. He even once bought me size 10 clothing from New York and Company that my size 22/24 rear was never going to fit into. He hung them up as a “inspiration” for me to aim my thin ambitions. This piece (good or bad) was written from a memory of a gawking out the window incident that had me feeling every little bit a tiny woman but not the tiny he wanted me to be. 

I saw you
looking at her.
A skinny little thing
who must not own a mirror
because her butt was hanging
out from her

A blond girl
out for a walk.
Maybe looking for attention
you were so willing to give
despite the fact I was
sitting right

You yelled
out to this chick
that you thought she was hot
while I was driving
feeling the pain
build up in my

For no matter how
many diets you put me on,
my thighs still touched,
my arms still jiggled,
and my back had more rolls
then you wanted to

You wanted me
to look like that girl
who you said you’d rather
been seen with
because she was
the opposite
of me.

Don’t you think
it is a little sad
that you can treat another
like she doesn’t exist
because she didn’t fit
your ideal of

Why not end it
since I wasn’t your type?
Instead of carrying on
dragging me through mud
until I can no longer look
myself in the

Tell me why
I was envious of a girl
who lived up to the standard
of a man who can hurt someone
without any

A man who
will never admit he did wrong.
Who can say at the end
as I walk out the door
“I am glad we were able
to end on good

You say good terms!
But you bled me dry
of my self-esteem
until I was no longer needed
as you moved on to someone
more your

You left me
broken and numb
leading me right to the bed
of a man twice my age
who acted grateful to
have met

He called me beautiful
but I didn’t believe
because if I was beautiful
how could I have been treated
like I didn’t

The damage you left
I feared would not be undone.
But that fling was my first lesson
that I am beautiful
just the way
I am.

For my thighs
will always touch
because they learned
to love each other
when I could

And my arms
will always have wings
because they are on stand-by
for when I decide
to take

My back rolls
will always be waiting
to provide a place for gripping
whenever my love
is holding me

That’s right
you read it correctly.
I found my true love.
You do not need
to adjust your

For I may not
be that skinny girl
you wanted me to become.
Instead I am all the woman
that my love
will ever



13 thoughts on “You bled me

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