I knew this morning while I was on the bus that I wanted to take time today to blog. I spent my commute contemplating what the topic will be and BAM! While thinking about my blog topic and mindlessly scrolling the Facebook I came across this quote that someone posted in one of my favorite body positive groups. Shit like this really grinds my gears because I absolutely HATE when people group others under one umbrella. In this case it is the equating taking a “selfie” with narcissistic behavior. They didn’t even spell narcissistic correctly! Not sure if that was on purpose or not so I’ll leave it at that.
Yes narcissistic is defined as having an excessive or erotic interest in oneself and one’s physical appearance.
- synonyms: vain, self-loving, self-admiring, self-absorbed, self-obsessed, conceited, self-centered, self-regarding, egotistic, egotistical, egoistic; informal full of oneself
But does this mean that everyone that posts a selfie has a narcissistic personalty? Absolutely not!
Some of us post selfies because of years and years of being subjected to actual narcissist people that our self-esteem had been beaten to a bloody pulp!
Some of us post selfies as a result of spending years living with someone who crapped on us so much that we hated everything about ourselves!
Some of us post selfies because there was a time when looking in the mirror was avoided at all costs because not even we want to look at us!
Some of us post selfies because of all the time we spent hating ourselves that we are being to explore what it is like to love us as we are!
Selfie does not automatically equate narcissism. Every single person has their own story and their own life that they are living. To say a person who takes a selfie is narcissistic is to believe the world is black and white. It is to ignore peoples struggles and journeys.
For instance, my selfies, first and foremost, are a middle finger to my ex who constantly put me down. Who was ashamed of my weight. Wore hats in public so he wouldn’t be seen with me. Called me a beached whale heading to our one beach day a year. One occasion even bought me clothes 7 sizes too small as motivation to lose weight.
My selfies also stand against the idea we need to all fit into the cookie cutter ideal of health and beauty. My friends on my Facebook page will notice that I often post my “outfits of the day” on Torrid’s page. I do this because since I discovered my new found self-acceptance I started to branch out my clothing purchases to things I hadn’t worn in nearly 15 years. Things such as dresses, skirts, tank tops, colors other than black, and well pretty much anything that showed any skin whatsoever. I try to lead by example. An “if I can do it anyone can” kind of thing.
Last but not least I am sure… my selfies are a display of a self love that I never experienced and I’ll be damed if anyone will try to take that away from me!
Apparently loving ourselves as we are is a radical stance to take in a world that is constantly trying to tell you otherwise.
Don’t judge a book before you read it!
Why do you take your picture?