That time I had a stalker…


Recent events happening around where I work have brought back the memory of the time I had a stalker. Yup… big girls get stalkers too… granted this one was 61 at the time of initial contact… but whatever it was creepy. 

Over the past month there have been some crazy things going on around here. The first incident happened to me as I was walking to my building. Stop me if you heard this one… I honestly don’t remember if I wrote about this yet… Anyway, there was a tall man walking really slow in front of me with his pants hanging below his ass. I was thinking to myself that he would walk faster if he’d just pull them up!  He turned into my building and stopped in the area between the outside door and the inside doors. As I walked in he puts me in a bear hug. I pushed him off and said “Please don’t touch me” and continued inside to get the security guard.

Every. Dam. Day. There is a security guard waiting to check IDs. Except that day. So I headed upstairs to my office and washed my arms in the kitchen sink. I felt disgusting. I then called security to file a complaint and alert them to the weird man walking around campus. I heard nothing since.

Yesterday I was off from work. I came in today to find out that someone was mugged outside of the campus gate. A tall man came up from behind a woman and hugged her and grab her necklace off her body. The description of the man reminded of the one who hugged me but since I saw no picture I can’t assume. However, the move was the same…so now I will not wear jewelry to work.

Then not 5 minutes later after hearing this story a strange man is seen walking around the hallway reading the bulletin boards. He was homeless looking and out of place. I don’t think he was there to do anyone harm. Perhaps he was just looking for a cool place to be. The thing that irritates me is the lack of security from those hired to work security. When we called to have someone come over we heard the man tell the guards that he was told he didn’t need a pass to come inside. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. There are days they won’t let ME in till I dig out my dam ID as I respond with… “you see me everyday… I work here… why would I travel over 2 hrs to just chill?” Where was that guy this morning? During the summer there is hardly anyone around and I kind of feel unsafe.


Flashback to 2012.

I was working in the library at the time. I had finished my History MA and had begun work on my MLS. Everyone in the library knew me as the girl who majored in History. I also have this instinctive need to help people. Well one day I was sitting at the reference desk when this older gentleman came into the library trying to find out how to look up his transcript on the computer and register for classes. He was retired and was finishing up his degree he had to stop pursuing back in the 70s. Doing my due diligence in the temporary role of librarian I helped him. I saw he was registering for history classes so I gave him some insights on the program and the requirements. What I thought was me doing my job was him taking it as flirtation. Over the course of him finishing his degree he would always visit me and pick my brain about history and how he can get books. Once again I thought I was just doing my job… he thought we were flirting.

One day in the cafe he asked if he could take me to dinner to thank me for all my help. He was finally graduating. I told him sorry I have a boyfriend but I appreciated the offer. No must not have been in his vocabulary. He was relentless. Every time he saw me the same thing. Dinner. No. Dinner. No. One day after work he hung around outside the library and asked me if I wanted a ride home. I said no I was good and jumped in the car of a coworker. He seemed to be unstoppable.

A month or two went by I didn’t see him as I thought he’d be gone for good… you know because he graduated… why would you hang around a college once you are done? Then one day BAM there he is walking up to the desk and says the dinner thing again. He wanted to get to know me and fall in love and have two kids before he got any older. He was in his 60s… I politely told him that “I am not the one that will be able to give you what you seek please leave me alone.” Three weeks go by and I see him walk into the library again… I RAN from the desk. I mean I was a blur! People were looking over at me hiding behind my bosses desk amazed at such a feat! Once he left I said “Hey I can move when I want too!”

More time passes and this time I didn’t see him as he walked into the middle of the rotunda and said out loud in front of everyone “Don’t you know I am in love with you”…. and now I begin crying…. hysterically…. I yell at him to leave me alone.  I go to security… something I now recognize as I should have done sooner. I filed a complaint… had a meeting with the college’s lawyer for these issues and he was finally gone from my life. Crisis averted.

Months and months go by… like 7 or so and he was no where to be seen. He finally got the message. Then one evening I am on my way home from school waiting for the ferry texting my ex where I was going once the ferry docked. I then got up and walked across the terminal to purchase a bottle of water. As I turn to head back to my seat there HE was standing right behind where I was sitting. I obviously made a bee line far away from there trying to hide in the throngs of people. Once on the boat I didn’t see him but when I got off and went to the bus ramp he followed me out. He acted surprised to see me and said he was on his way to his car…. the bus ramp was NOT on the way to the parking lot that LIAR! Luckily the bus came right away and whisked me out of there! Two weeks later… same day… different ferry… I see him again. I stayed far away and this time took a different bus when the ferry docked. This one was down a different ramp. As the bus pulled away, and we passed the other ramps, I looked back and saw him hanging around where he last saw me… I sat on the bus crying. The next day when I got to work I looked up his phone number and left him a scathing voicemail telling him to fuck off and I haven’t heard from him since.


Why do I fear strange men? I have no idea! (Totally sarcastic… I’m always on the look out… I cannot sleep on public transportation when I am alone… except the express bus when I have a row to myself… even then it is with one eye open… leave me along creepers!)

If you got to the end of this post thanks for reading!


14 thoughts on “That time I had a stalker…

  1. I have a stalker. For about 5 years now. They steal your life from you. Sometimes I go thru these emotional spells of defeat and despair and I cry for days. Mostly because I want ‘me’ back. The ‘me’ who didn’t live in a constant state of fear and hypervigilence wasn’t a daily norm. The legal process is exhausting, frustrating and laws around stalking are so specific yet vague to law enforcement. There is very limited if any training in the stalking and especially cyber stalking arena of dirt bag criminals.
    The impact this has had and continues to have on my life will no doubt take years to recover from emotionally, mentally and financially.
    I’ve never met this woman. I’ve seen her in court multiple times now. She was my ex-husband’s mistress from 5 years ago. He and I have since moved on and both happily engaged to other people. His mistress is stuck in her ‘glory days’ and her stalking, harassing and attacks on me are all centered on living in that timeframe. Histrionic Disorder. Among many others.
    I’ve had to relocate, change numbers multiple times, change email multiple times, keep co-workers aware as she’s compromised my corporate office, keep a legal TEAM on retainer and the list goes on. Stalkers steal your life. Especially the delusional ones.
    My ex-husband slept with the dogs and I got stuck with his fleas. 2 things I try to remind myself of daily: a. There is a light at the end of this tunnel and the wrath of her karma is not quite ready to unleash but when it does I will finally feel ‘ok, NOW it’s over’ because it will knock her the f$&k out! And b. Always always always be a good person. Not that I’m not but dealing with this dickhead reminds me of how ugly inhumanity can be. Well she actually reminds me of a few other ugly things but those are her issues.
    Ending on a lighter note I will say it has been rather funny seeing and hearing peoples reactions when I have to go thru the story and then say she’s the mistress. She has made herself the victim of me. Because I was married to the man she was sleeping with. Umm…


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