The following tale is not one looking for praise and admiration. It is a story of a flawed human being. A facade. This may come as a shocker to some of you but… I am talking about me. Yes I am flawed. It is true. However, in my defense I believe that there is not a single perfect human being on this planet. We may find that one person or persons in the world that we think are… but in fact they are just perfect for us… a compilation. Continue reading
I’m my worst critic… but aren’t we all? I am the first person to jump on my imperfections and criticize myself. For one I can say with certainty that I never liked my arms. Besides the fact my ex called them man arms they are also full of scars. Scars from being whipped with a rod or hanger or fists of fury. Continue reading
Lately my life
feels like a dream
Is it all real?
Are we really a team?
You and I
Under one roof
In our new endeavor
Long gone are the days
my heart did roam
I will strive to make
this house our home
Yesterday I made a change. I went to a hair salon and walked out sporting a new look for the first time in forever.
I walked in wearing red shorts and a tank top with flip flops on. Hair a mix of dark brown and gray with frizz all over. Basically my everyday look! I knew that look. I was used to it. It was me.
I sat in this chair for over 2 hours between getting my hair painted and waiting for it to set.
I decided to get an ombre and balayage in caramel. There are also hints of red in the sunlight.
I walked out three and a half hours later unrecognizable. All of a sudden I felt different and oddly enough underdressed. I felt not fancy enough for my hair. Maybe it was my way of convincing myself to buy a new wardrobe! Still though what a strange thought! That’s my brain for you.
You know what though I felt like I needed this. Everyday I change a little but for the better. I’m thousands of feet in front of where I used to be. I couldn’t be more proud of myself.
I’m loving my new look! This is what it would look like if I were a twin. Double awesomness!
I know today is a day of reblogs but I have come across so much awesomeness! I promise I will write some original content soon. I have just been overwhelmed with writing a thesis with only 3 months to do it!
I am reblogging this one because I love how Christian Siriano added bigger models and didn’t make a show of it. It is nice to see how steps are being made to normalize and bridge the gap between “regular” and “plus sized.” I know what a radical idea! Us bigger women are a (no pun intended) huge part of the market that designers are just not taking advantage. I will say though that fashion for us has improved since my days of shopping in men’s sections as a teenager.
Plus-size fashion is going from strength to strength lately what with high street brands like River Island and H&M taking their fuller figured customers to stylish new heights and “fatshion” becoming ever prevalent on Instagram. While such a dramatic shift towards inclusive fashion often starts lower down the “trickle down” chain, the higher end of the fashion spectrum has surprised us once again. Christian Siriano wowed audiences at New York Fashion Week with his collection of bold classically sexy ensembles, but there was an unexpected addition to the catwalk– curves on curves on curves!
Siriano sent 5 plus-size models down the runway alongside the sample size ones claiming that he didn’t really think it was a big deal and so didn’t mention it to the press. Many have applauded this attitude of normalcy around size inclusion meanwhile others were horrified. While he certainly isn’t the first designer to spring fuller…
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I am reblogging this because it is such a beautifully written piece about life. Sometimes it is good to take a moment and zoom in on life and take note of your surroundings. See the beauty but also the flaws and realize that none of us is perfect. I travel through NYC often to get to work and most of the time I am so self absorbed in getting to where I have to be that I rush past everything and anything that is in my way. Yup I can be one of those New Yorkers. I am ashamed to say that sometimes I will stop and help and other times I can’t be bothered. I find that I am more inclined to help people who are lost than I am people asking for money. I do give whenever I can but sometimes I have nothing myself.
As I am writing this I am reminded of that time I was out all night riding the buses, ferry, and trains because I had nowhere to go. I had that short lived moment of feeling lost and abandoned. I feel tremendous guilt for turning my back on others in the same situations. I will work on this. I promise. Life can sometimes be so fragile.
Growing up, one of the best views in my neighborhood was at the top of Victory Blvd. On the clearest day you had the most remarkable view of the New York City skyline. At night, even more, so as the buildings lit up the dark sky. There was, and still is something cool about that skyline, something awesome about seeing it there. It was the place you wanted to be. It was a place of dreams, of hope, of anything is possible. It looked like the perfect place to be.
Then you get a little closer.
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On September 11th 2001 I was working at a supermarket when the news starting coming in about a plane hitting the World Trade Center tower. My boss wouldn’t let us leave. I was worried for my father because he worked downtown. On my break I was at the payphone calling his office and no one was answering. Luckily I was working the morning shift and by 11:30 I ran out and went to pull my brother out of school and get home. We walked in and were relieved to see my father sitting in the living room. He was covered in white soot from running from the area. He was able to get on one of the ferries back to Staten island. He was on the bus when they witnessed the second plane hitting the other building.
At the time I didn’t fully comprehend the amount of lives lost until later that evening. This morning I watched some of the names being called and listening to the family members speak. No matter how much time has passed it still feels heavy on my heart. I’ll never forget staring out at the city watching the smoke rise. The empty place in the skyline seemed like a hole through the heart. It would be a constant reminder of that day. Of the senseless act that took all those lives. Even with the Freedom Tower it isn’t the same. I haven’t brought myself to visit the fountains but I hear it is very peaceful.
I cry for all the lives lost and I pray for those families. I still can’t watch footage without feeling emence sadness. I don’t think I will ever not cry on this day.
My view of this sad yet beautiful light from the passenger side. I don’t take photos while driving.