The guest list debate…

Planning a wedding is more stressful than I thought it would be. I decided to hold the ceremony at a destination and the reception back home so I am having guest list stress. I wasn’t planning on inviting everyone out to the destination due to the added cost of travel and hotel. I figured it would be our immediate families, wedding party, and best friends. We then plan on showing the video of the ceremony as part of the reception dinner about two weeks later. The venue has already been picked and deposit placed but I find myself pulling my hair out over the invites.

This is part of my fear complex. I am afraid of offending people when there is no intention to do so. It is a money issue more than anything. If thought everyone would come out to the destination ceremony I would say screw the second party but that isn’t reality. I am in love with the venue but I know not everyone can attend. Yet I want to be able to include everyone so splitting the wedding into two separate parts seemed like the best option (and surprising more affordable… the venue was a great deal).

I am seeking advice on how to deal with guest lists!

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7 thoughts on “The guest list debate…

  1. I think the destination and party later is a great way to do it. And I say start with a list of all possible guests… then start reviewing and crossing off. I think this way, you won’t forget about anyone but you can still narrow the list. Or… maybe that’s not for you… It’s hard because everyone seems to handle this stuff differently!

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    • That’s what I have at the moment. The hard part is the destination list. I can only have a certain amount of people and I’m sickened by the thought of hurting someone’s feelings. I hope people understand it’s a money thing. I can’t afford to feed everyone twice 😦

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  2. I’m in the midst of planning a wedding as well, and our guest list is constantly changing for this exact reason! If I invite this family member to the ceremony then I have to invite this other one, but that means I have to bump a friend off who I really want to be there, etc. etc. etc. I love the idea of showing a video of the ceremony at the reception dinner! I think people will understand that you can’t have everyone at both, but I am right there with you in the struggle. Good luck!

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  3. Awesome! Destination wedding! I’ve never planned one or even been to one but here is my advice:

    Invite everyone you would like to see there. If they can’t afford to go thats ok! Make sure its very obvious that there will be a party back home and not to feel obligated to travel.

    I think having both is such a good idea!

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  4. Do what you want. Put a disclaimer on your wedding page and let people know that we are funding the wedding ourselves on a limited budget so please don’t be offended. It’s your day and you should do whatever you want. People will understand.

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