I am the type of person who hates not finishing something. It is why all these years later I am still playing the original game Candy Crush on my phone. I am determined to get to the last level but the dam creators keep adding more and more… I believe they are past 2000 and I am only on level 1270! At this rate I don’t know if I will ever catch up as I refuse to spend any real money on buying boosters and gold bars!
I am not just a dedicated phone gamer I am also a lover of reading. I love a good series… cough Harry Potter.. cough Star Wars… cough. I am always on the watch for new ones or ones I may have missed. Every now and then I am pointed in the direction of a series I am told I would enjoy. Game of Thrones is one of them but I am fearful to start it. I hear Martin has no qualms about killing off characters and I have attachment issues with my favorites… sniff Snape sniff. The other series that was suggested was Diana Gabaldon’s Outlander. I read some reviews on it and it seemed to be well loved… plus it is 8 books long! It would have solved by “what will I read next” issue for a while. It addition, it is currently a Starz program. I was basically given months of potential entertainment!
So I picked up the first book to get started… if you haven’t read or seen the series and don’t wish to be spoiled I created this page break for your safety! Continue reading
Partner is by definition a person who comes together with another person in an undertaking with a shared outcome. By moving in together that is exactly what we did. I often fret about whether or not I am holding my even share in this wonderful venture. Living with him as been one of the easiest things I have ever done. It feels natural like I was always suppose to be here… in this place… creating our home and building our lives.
Yet I am nagged by the fact that I can’t remember the last time I cooked something. My guess would be around last December. Yet I never go hungry. Even when he is not around the leftovers sustain me until his return. I am not kidding. This past week I made a fritta and Brussels sprouts stretch four days! I am tired of eggs, but I didn’t have to buy any of the overpriced food they try to sell around where I work. And when he is home… my dinner is always packed and ready to go for the next day. I am hardly around during the week between my hours and the time it takes to commute back and forth. He has made this work transition so seamless for me.
However, I really should cook on the weekends when I am home. I really should. But then does things like making pizza or BBQ chicken. It’s soooooo good. I can’t compete with his kitchen skills. Flavors come natural to him. He can wing something and it will be a party in my stomach. He says he loves to cook and I am forever grateful for that… but I don’t want him to feel like he always HAS to cook. I know my way around a kitchen just not as well. I try to compensate for my lack of cooking by keeping up with the laundry, dusting, and vacuuming…. the last two I been slacking on due to the fact I hate dust and there is cat hair EVERYWHERE. Yet that is only one day a week. His underwear may be clean but I eat everyday! Then again he does wear clean clothes everyday… it’s the same thing right?
I should stop being paranoid about my lack of cooking hours. I should take my solace in the fact that if he didn’t like something he wouldn’t do it. I should believe that I do in fact bring my fair share to this relationship. I’ve done a lot of growing in the past two years. I fixed my credit. I have a back account even though I hate banks. I am not longer miserable at work because I found a job in the path I have chosen as my career. It’s not perfect but nothing ever is really. Most importantly, to me anyway, I am in a healthy relationship with the man I love and want to spend the rest of my days. Yet I can’t kick these dam insecurities. I feel like a character that is having trouble developing!