Tick tock goes the clock…

Tick tock goes the clock…

…Pretty soon we tie the knot!

This is a story about a Girl who has this friend that tells her about a Boy

Girl lets friend give Boy her number
Boy texts girl and they talk 
Boy invites Girl out for coffee and Girl agrees
Boy and Girl meet and Girl has a great time
Girl panics because she really likes Boy
Boy keeps talking to Girl and plans romantic dates
Girl knows that Boy is someone special
Girl falls for Boy and knows immediately he is the one
Boys also realizes Girl is awesome and he shouldn’t let her go
Girl and Boy continue to hang out and spend every free moment together
Girl and Boy eventually move in together
Life is easy as Girl and Boy get along so well
Everything feels right in Girl’s world
Girl’s life makes sense and  is finally happy
Boy tells Girl he wants to get married
Girl agrees and Boy now also happy!










Girl really really loves Boy 😍😙


Today was my last day!

Today was my last day!

Good evening all!

What an exciting day! It was my last day at a job that brought me a great deal of agony. I am a bundle of nerves and happiness as I prepare to start my career on Monday.

I wore a cheerful bright orange-red today to celebrate my departure. For some reason it still does not feel real. I am thinking it might on Monday as I pull up to the new place.

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I still can’t believe I made it to this point. Finally I get to call myself a librarian! Dreams do come true 🙂

Crying starts with C #atozchallenge

Crying starts with C #atozchallenge

I was contemplating all day what in the world will my “C” thing be on how I can become more positive. Then I had an complete panic attack about fifteen minutes ago. Over the past three days my eyelids have been having spasm issues. They get all tight and shut as they shake under the weight of my eyelashes. This is followed by the feeling that my throat is closing up. Right behind the throat closure I start to get the urge to burp. The problem is that I am unable to burp and this leads me to feeling like I cannot breath. The need to burp is a new thing that started this past week. With all this going on at once my anxiety is heightened and my hands began trembling. Last but not least my boyfriend asked if I was okay and that broke my seal. I began a full body cry.  I cried to the point that I became lightheaded and my legs weakened. My face then tingled and the hyperventilating commenced. Continue reading

Guess what?

Guess what?

Symptom of happiness

My hands are tingling
and are beginning to shake,
My emotions intermingling,
Did I just catch a break?
This anxiety I’m feeling
is not impending doom,
My insides are reeling
and yet no thoughts of gloom
The road was rough
many lessons needed learning,
What didn’t kill me made me tough
while my stripes I was earning,
Love renewed my soul
and is the only thing that’s real,
It mended me whole
as it began to peel,
All that negative energy
that surrounded my mind,
Locked it far in my memory
with a key I’ll never find,
I learned to be optimistic,
So what should appear?
I’ll keep this simplistic
I have a brand new career!

Vianda Catering and Advocacy

My dear followers I want to present you a wonderful opportunity to contribute to something extremely worthwhile. One of my amazing friends has started a catering business to help fund the change she wants to see in this world. She is all about taking actions and has always been a inspiration for me. This strong and intelligent woman has been a friend of mine since those high years many moons ago and has remained one of my closest confidants. She was there for me during my darkest period and pretty much kept me alive when I saw no hope. Please take a moment out of your day to click on the link and read up on Vianda Catering and Advocacy and consider donating. If you are unable to donate please share this with others! It would mean the world to me

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Cleaning out the clutter…

Cleaning out the clutter…

For as long as I can remember I have always been a saver. I can find a sentimental value to nearly anything. This is probably why archiving would be a tough job for me. As a historian I see value in random things. They tell us stories if we are willing to listen to them. I remember how hard it was for me the first time I was asked to weed out books. Who cares if they are old! After all, they are a reflection of the ideas of their time. Come to think of it maybe this is the answer to that weakness question that interviewers ask… It is a weakness because I don’t want to do it but I would also want to get the job done. Many times I found weeded books interesting and therefore saved them for myself. HEY I just learned something new about myself so this is automatically a good day!

Anyway back to my collecting… I used to have boxes full of random things. Schoolwork I completed in grade school, report cards, articles I printed, and papers I wrote. I had albums of baseball cards, trophies from my cheerleading days, old clothes I used to wear that I loved but no longer fit. Old uniforms and sashes with earned girl scout badges, pom poms, movies, music, and my Backstreet Boys paraphernalia collection. I am positive there is much more but I try to not remember. If I can’t recall it I can’t miss it right?

I use past tense because all of these possessions were lost to me through an unpaid storage unit of my parents. I was living with my ex at the time so I found out about it months afterwards. I was pretty darn upset about it when it happened but it is not like I had the money to save the stuff as I was always broke. Nonetheless it hurt.

So I am living with a crazy person and as you know that stuff was less than safe (ripped clothes, broken glasses, cracked kindle… you remember right I don’t need to repeat it right?).  Yet these things were all I had. Add to that the feeling of having no where to go I was scared out of my mind to leave with nothing but whatever I could carry. I had no money to buy clothes. I had no money to do anything. So I stayed I guess partially due to fear of losing everything. My life felt like a down spiral that would never end.

When the time came that he let me go live with my aunt I had a duffel bag with some of my clothes and nothing else. All my other stuff such as a the rest of my clothes, a cable box, router, books and personal papers were left behind. These things would be recovered seven month later when he moved out of state and return what remained. In the meantime I remember sitting in my makeshift room feeling numb, lost, but yet unburdened. It was a nice feeling to not be bogged down by things. Things after all are not most important.  My safety was. It was at this point that I let go of my boxes of self history.

Fast-forward to present. I now live in my own house and I am terrified of filling it up with random things I will never touch or use. I want to buy these shelving units but in the back of my head I don’t because it is more stuff to clean. I love to decorate but at the same time I don’t want to look back 30 years from now and see an attic full of holiday decor collecting dust. I decided to do staples and fill in the rest with dollar store decorations but then throwing them away is bad for the environment. I can’t fully win. Yet I have two things I have no issue collecting. Clothes and Funko pops. I need to get that under control but those darn pops are so f-in cute!

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My latest bunch of pretties. Thank goodness they are inexpensive!

However, I noticed that there are many things that I have in the house that need not be… so like last year I will be participating in Lent even though I am not currently wholly religious. Last year I decided to give up shopping. Hardest 40 days but I did it. This year I am doing something a little different. I will be aiming to get rid of minimally one thing every day either for donation (or garbage). I will set up a box in my office to place donated items in and when lent is over I will take it to a donation center.

The idea came about from a weight watchers meeting about having less clutter will make you happy and therefore you will not overeat. At least that is what I got out of that meeting. I am a notorious emotional eater and I am well aware of how clutter makes me anxious so out it has to go! I think this experiment will be great for my mental health. It definitely got me thinking about whether or not there is an actual correlation between weight gain and clutter?

What will you be doing?

Essay 8/52

When you bring a pet into a new home!

When you bring a pet into a new home!

I made a false assumption these past few months. I believed that because my cat knows me, and what I assume loves me, that he would have no issue moving into our home. We made all the necessary preparations. I mean we had the best preparations. The greatest preparations. No one knows preparations better than us. Believe me ask anyone.

I mean on Sunday, we went to Target and purchased all of the stuff! The litter box, litter, food and water dishes, a scratchy pad, cat food, AND a kitty snack! Not to mention the CAT NIP… what is not to love about all these great preparations! All that was missing was the cat!

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The food was moved into the kitchen but this was were we planned on making his space!

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