Rant: Opinions and personal space

Rant: Opinions and personal space

There was a post I came across in a group I am that asked for opinions on the following shirt…


The poster was soliciting opinions on whether or not people would wear it. It is a yes or no answer with an optional corresponding reason for why you would or wouldn’t wear it. I originally said I would but changed my mind. I would not wear it because of the word bitch. I am not at all offended or bothered by the word fat. I’m also not all that offended by the word bitch either… I just think it inappropriate to wear on a shirt. That is my opinion. I do not begrudge others from wearing. You like it rock it because it’s none of my business.

Drama happened like it always does when you have a group of people on the internet with various opinions chiming in on any subject matter. That is perfectly fine. However, I draw the line when an opinion becomes a judgement on people’s personal space (no one is perfect I am sure I have said things without thinking how it is judgy… I am probably doing it right now…).  However, like clockwork there was that one person that took it beyond themselves and decided it smart to cover all wearers of this shirt under the same blanket. This commenter posted that she thinks anyone that would wear this shirt needs to go get some self-esteem because they are clearly insecure and that wearing this shirt is just self-depreciation. She received replies from other women stating how they would wear it and they are perfectly secure with themselves and happy. Others stated that it is not self-depreciation because it is reclaiming the word fat from people who try to use it as an insult. She disagreed and maintained her stance.

Firstly, I don’t like blanket statements. I don’t believe in black and white. The world is full of many hues of gray. Not all cops are bad. Not all blacks are criminals. Not all whites are supremacists. Not all religious people are nuts. Not all men are assholes. Not all thin people are healthy. Not all fat people are unhealthy or insecure.

Secondly, I don’t believe that opinions have a place in someone’s personal space. The size of someone’s body, what they eat, what they generally look like, and what they decided to put on it is no one’s business. This is their personal space. You have no say over it. If someone says that wearing a shirt that says “Fat Bitch” doesn’t mean they are insecure it’s not your place to continue to say it does. If you think it is gross that a fat person wants to wear a bikini to the beach it is not your place to tell them they cannot do so.

You don’t like the shirt don’t buy it and wear it. End of story. End of your opinion. Once you move past that and start critiquing others on why they would wear the shirt you begin to enter different territory. If someone responds and tells you that you’re wrong that wearing the shirt does not make them insecure… believe them and move on.

I have a problem with this kind of attitude and call me out if I am wrong I won’t bite.

Wedding Dress shopping while Plus-Sized

Wedding dress sizes

There is no greater time to ignore a size than when you are shopping for a wedding dress. I have said it once and I’ll say it again… the number on your clothes does not and will not ever define you!  Yet no matter how hard I try to apply my words to myself; I will admit there was a punch to my self-esteem as I was squeezing into a dress two sizes bigger than my everyday clothes. I ended up asking the same question I am sure tons of other brides asked. Why do these dresses run so small? So I googled it.

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Today was my last day!

Today was my last day!

Good evening all!

What an exciting day! It was my last day at a job that brought me a great deal of agony. I am a bundle of nerves and happiness as I prepare to start my career on Monday.

I wore a cheerful bright orange-red today to celebrate my departure. For some reason it still does not feel real. I am thinking it might on Monday as I pull up to the new place.


I still can’t believe I made it to this point. Finally I get to call myself a librarian! Dreams do come true 🙂

I am a caterpillar 

I am a caterpillar 

Yesterday I made a change. I went to a hair salon and walked out sporting a new look for the first time in forever. 

I walked in wearing red shorts and a tank top with flip flops on. Hair a mix of dark brown and gray with frizz all over. Basically my everyday look! I knew that look. I was used to it. It was me. 

I sat in this chair for over 2 hours between getting my hair painted and waiting for it to set. 

I decided to get an ombre and balayage in caramel. There are also hints of red in the sunlight. 

I walked out three and a half hours later unrecognizable. All of a sudden I felt different and oddly enough underdressed. I felt not fancy enough for my hair. Maybe it was my way of convincing myself to buy a new wardrobe! Still though what a strange thought! That’s my brain for you. 

You know what though I felt like I needed this. Everyday I change a little but for the better. I’m thousands of feet in front of where I used to be. I couldn’t be more proud of myself. 

I’m loving my new look! This is what it would look like if I were a twin. Double awesomness! 

Christian Siriano Normalises Plus-Size at New York Fashion Week

Love this!

I know today is a day of reblogs but I have come across so much awesomeness! I promise I will write some original content soon. I have just been overwhelmed with writing a thesis with only 3 months to do it!

I am reblogging this one because I love how Christian Siriano added bigger models and didn’t make a show of it. It is nice to see how steps are being made to normalize and bridge the gap between “regular” and “plus sized.” I know what a radical idea! Us bigger women are a (no pun intended) huge part of the market that designers are just not taking advantage. I will say though that fashion for us has improved since my days of shopping in men’s sections as a teenager.

You can read about my investigative attempts in my previous posts Plus size shopping experience: Where is it at? and Forever 21 plus size heaven!


Plus-size fashion is going from strength to strength lately what with high street brands like River Island and H&M taking their fuller figured customers to stylish new heights and “fatshion” becoming ever prevalent on Instagram. While such a dramatic shift towards inclusive fashion often starts lower down the “trickle down” chain, the higher end of the fashion spectrum has surprised us once again. Christian Siriano wowed audiences at New York Fashion Week with his collection of bold classically sexy ensembles, but there was an unexpected addition to the catwalk– curves on curves on curves!


Siriano sent 5 plus-size models down the runway alongside the sample size ones claiming that he didn’t really think it was a big deal and so didn’t mention it to the press. Many have applauded this attitude of normalcy around size inclusion meanwhile others were horrified. While he certainly isn’t the first designer to spring fuller…

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Leggings-pants debate

Leggings-pants debate

There is a debate currently going on one of the Facebook groups I’m a part of on whether or not leggings are pants. I personally think they are. I mean what else can they be? They aren’t tights. They are too thick for that. To me wearing leggings under a dress or skirt feels too bulky.

However, I would never tell people how to wear their clothes. This one girl is trying to tell people that there are rules to wearing leggings. You must wear a top that goes past your butt. She claimed she is tired of seeing people’s privates. Continue reading

Being “plus-sized” at the beach

Being “plus-sized” at the beach

Sometimes being a fat person is not easy. People seem to think it is okay to dislike you and judge you purely on the fact that you carry more weight then they do. Other people think that just looking at you is a great barometer for how healthy you are and therefore, because they are thinner and obviously healthier, can also judge you. It also seems as though this type of discrimination is not even all that frowned upon. My full appreciation goes out to all the fat activists out there trying to make the world a better place for us who carry a little extra but are still awesome people!

I don’t know about you but some things used to have this aura of exclusivity. For example, I feared the gym because I was fat… I feared boys because I was fat… I feared dresses, skirts, shorts, capris, and anything sleeveless because I was fat… and this post is dedicated to one of my all time fears that I have kicked right in the ass… The beach! It will no longer just feel like a sanctuary for the skinny!

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