Rant: Opinions and personal space

Rant: Opinions and personal space

There was a post I came across in a group I am that asked for opinions on the following shirt…

FGF_FatBitch_Black-1.png

The poster was soliciting opinions on whether or not people would wear it. It is a yes or no answer with an optional corresponding reason for why you would or wouldn’t wear it. I originally said I would but changed my mind. I would not wear it because of the word bitch. I am not at all offended or bothered by the word fat. I’m also not all that offended by the word bitch either… I just think it inappropriate to wear on a shirt. That is my opinion. I do not begrudge others from wearing. You like it rock it because it’s none of my business.

Drama happened like it always does when you have a group of people on the internet with various opinions chiming in on any subject matter. That is perfectly fine. However, I draw the line when an opinion becomes a judgement on people’s personal space (no one is perfect I am sure I have said things without thinking how it is judgy… I am probably doing it right now…).  However, like clockwork there was that one person that took it beyond themselves and decided it smart to cover all wearers of this shirt under the same blanket. This commenter posted that she thinks anyone that would wear this shirt needs to go get some self-esteem because they are clearly insecure and that wearing this shirt is just self-depreciation. She received replies from other women stating how they would wear it and they are perfectly secure with themselves and happy. Others stated that it is not self-depreciation because it is reclaiming the word fat from people who try to use it as an insult. She disagreed and maintained her stance.

Firstly, I don’t like blanket statements. I don’t believe in black and white. The world is full of many hues of gray. Not all cops are bad. Not all blacks are criminals. Not all whites are supremacists. Not all religious people are nuts. Not all men are assholes. Not all thin people are healthy. Not all fat people are unhealthy or insecure.

Secondly, I don’t believe that opinions have a place in someone’s personal space. The size of someone’s body, what they eat, what they generally look like, and what they decided to put on it is no one’s business. This is their personal space. You have no say over it. If someone says that wearing a shirt that says “Fat Bitch” doesn’t mean they are insecure it’s not your place to continue to say it does. If you think it is gross that a fat person wants to wear a bikini to the beach it is not your place to tell them they cannot do so.

You don’t like the shirt don’t buy it and wear it. End of story. End of your opinion. Once you move past that and start critiquing others on why they would wear the shirt you begin to enter different territory. If someone responds and tells you that you’re wrong that wearing the shirt does not make them insecure… believe them and move on.

I have a problem with this kind of attitude and call me out if I am wrong I won’t bite.

Wedding Dress shopping while Plus-Sized

Wedding dress sizes

There is no greater time to ignore a size than when you are shopping for a wedding dress. I have said it once and I’ll say it again… the number on your clothes does not and will not ever define you!  Yet no matter how hard I try to apply my words to myself; I will admit there was a punch to my self-esteem as I was squeezing into a dress two sizes bigger than my everyday clothes. I ended up asking the same question I am sure tons of other brides asked. Why do these dresses run so small? So I googled it.

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Being “plus-sized” at the beach

Being “plus-sized” at the beach

Sometimes being a fat person is not easy. People seem to think it is okay to dislike you and judge you purely on the fact that you carry more weight then they do. Other people think that just looking at you is a great barometer for how healthy you are and therefore, because they are thinner and obviously healthier, can also judge you. It also seems as though this type of discrimination is not even all that frowned upon. My full appreciation goes out to all the fat activists out there trying to make the world a better place for us who carry a little extra but are still awesome people!

I don’t know about you but some things used to have this aura of exclusivity. For example, I feared the gym because I was fat… I feared boys because I was fat… I feared dresses, skirts, shorts, capris, and anything sleeveless because I was fat… and this post is dedicated to one of my all time fears that I have kicked right in the ass… The beach! It will no longer just feel like a sanctuary for the skinny!

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Plus size shopping experience: Where is it at?

Plus size shopping experience: Where is it at?

For this new found lover of shopping it doesn’t take too much convincing to go out to my favorite stores. Unless it is extremely cold, torrential rains, or snow I’m usually down for a little retail therapy. Even if it is just to window shop and I don’t buy anything.

However this was not always the case. When I was a teenager, I’d go shopping with friends but I was pretty insecure about the whole process. Back when I was in high school stores that carried “regular” sized clothing hardly ever had anything that fit me. I’d have to buy my clothes from Lane Bryant, the Department stores, or online catalogs.

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Visual look-over assessment: Enough you make no sense!

Visual look-over assessment: Enough you make no sense!

I was reading an article this morning about model Tess Holiday. She was talking a bit about her life before her breakthrough, what her new status means for her family, how she deals with trolls, and a short mention of her upcoming clothing line. Then of course you read the comments (of anything that mentions her) and mixed in with the admiration are 3 negative themes. Continue reading

Throwback Thursday: Swimsuit edition!

Throwback Thursday: Swimsuit edition!

I dedicate this week’s Throwback Thursday to the swimsuit dilemma. So… yup… you are seeing correctly. Last year around this time I tried on a bikini top.  Everyone was raving on the Torrid website about how awesome their bathing suits are so I wanted to see for myself.

*As a side note…It doesn’t take much convincing to get me to go to my favorite store! Continue reading